Gentle Reminders

Originally published April 19, 2019

So I’ve been sick all week, I mean down for the count with the flu and feeling like a rag doll that’s been flung around on the back of a kid’s wagon for days! I wanted nothing better then to feel better fast and of course there’s always a little pity party when we don’t feel better faster! I have literally been housebound for 6 days with the exception of a doctor’s visit and today was the first day I felt like I had taken a good turn. I was out of some meds, so decided to take myself down to the local Walgreens and get some fresh air. Funny thing though, there is a Rite Aide right next to Walgreens and I never go in there, but thought, “hmmm let me go there.” Apparently Walgreen bought out Rite Aide and so they will be closing and thus there was a ton of stuff 50% off. Even in my so-so state, I can’t pass up a good deal, so I mucked around for a little while checking things out. It was pouring buckets out anyway, so I figured I’d let the rain subside.

While in line to checkout about 30 mins later I hear a gentleman that works there say to his coworker, “I need to go home on my lunch break and help my wife, but man I can’t go in this weather.” As his colleague is checking me out I can see the panic on this face. so I say, “Where do you live, I could give you a ride.” I know, I know … I DON’T know this guy from Adam, but he legit seemed to need to get home to his wife. He at first declined, but then said, “would you mind, my wife is sick and I really need to check on her.” Well in my mind I’m thinking, “she probably has what I got poor woman.” I NEVER offer strangers rides, but something compelled me, so I did. I trusted that whatever was pushing me to help was for a good reason.

So when he got in the car he couldn’t thank me enough. I introduced myself and he told me his name was Johnny! He said, he’d had a bad week, he’d lost his other job, then got in an accident and his car was totaled and his wife has MS and she’s been having a very rough time of it and had had a MRI the day before, the nurses had left her in the dressing room alone, and she fell and hurt her hip and now she was nervous being alone and he really needed to check on her. I asked why he lost his other job. He said, “Well my wife’s MS has been in a flare state and unfortunately I’d exhausted all my avenues for time off to care for her so my company said they couldn’t hold my job anymore.” He was very matter of fact about it, said he understood their position etc., but his priority is his wife.

See what I mean, I thought I had a bad week, my week was NOTHING compared to this man’s week (or year for that matter). We chatted on the way to his home, I waited while he checked on her and then took him back to work. I guess he just needed to chat because I learned in a very short amount of time that nothing else matters to him except that his wife get on the road to recovery. He has three kids, two of them don’t deal well with their mother’s illness and his other one is great. He has a 90 year old father that is his inspiration and he has a network of support from his other family members and of course he has his faith. He told me that for his wife it’s the little things that we all take for granted that are her biggest challenges, and that helps keep it in perspective for him and he gave me an example…

She was in therapy and laying on the floor. The therapist asked her to raise her hips without using her arms or hands. She couldn’t do it (this was a couple months ago). Apparently the other day, she was able to do it and he baked her a cake to celebrate!

He teared up several times in our conversation, but never once wavered from what was important. Not one time did he take a selfish pity moment for himself, nor did he think that things wouldn’t eventually work out. He understands his wife’s feelings of despair when she is immobile, so those kind of milestones are big wins!

People that I meet in these types of circumstance always inspire me to be better, to work harder, to never take today for granted. Even though I slip into my own little world and live in my bubble, these gentle reminders help me know that someone always has it worse and they usually handle it with grace.

I’m sharing because the next time we all have a bad day, maybe it’s actually not so bad.