I Do…

September 6, 2019

On September 7th, I will have been married 34 years and that is just mind blowing. It never feels like as much time has gone by that has and every year I say that to my husband. We met in Texas on an Air Force Base. He was active duty and had just come back from Germany, it was April of 1985. I was staying with my sister. I met him quite by accident – he and several other Air Force active duty. He teases me that I went on dates with his friends before I went on a date with him, but the truth was, he was shy and hadn’t asked (I only went on two dates and I didn’t have much fun). I wasn’t quite sure about him, but fate is amazing and when she steps in, well if you listen you make the right decisions.

One night ‘one of those friends’ had asked me to be his date. We were all going to meet at a local dance club, that one of the guys was a DJ at. My date proceeded to get so drunk he couldn’t walk and I was someplace that I could do one of my favorite things — DANCE!! This is the night I KNEW my hubby was for me. I sat there wanting to dance and finally said to the table of boys at large — “I want to dance, who will dance with me…” Hubby spoke up and said, “I like to dance … ” and we danced until 2:00 AM, barely coming off the dance floor. Our conversation that night was limited, but dancing all night said it all! It is one of my sweetest ‘date’ memories; needless to say, going dancing that summer became our favorite pastime. In July, he asked me to marry him and I accepted. His friends all thought he was nuts for diving in like that, but I knew and he knew, we were meant for each other.

Don’t get me wrong, we hardly knew each other and we had get-to-know-you pains (literally growing up) and life lessons, but it’s been worth every step. When someone asks me ‘our secret’ I tell them, “hard work”. Sure love, communication, trust, give-and-take, respect etc., are all very important too, but if you don’t work at marriage, then it won’t work for you – words to live by!

Marriage is like a roller coaster, you work hard, climb the big hills, come down the other side and feel all the emotions of fear and excitement, only to be faced with a sharp curve and another climb. It’s about doing it together, being best friends, cheering each other on, making choices together, making decisions together and respecting each other’s differences.

When you’re young and married you don’t even fathom 34 years, it seems so distant, but when you break it down and really think about the vows you take, it does boil down to two words, “I Do…” when we cite those words in our wedding vows and take those vows seriously, it translates to ‘us’ not ‘I’ not ‘You’!

Make no mistake, marriage is work but the secret in the words “I Do” is translating that to an approach of “we can do anything together…!”