My Two Cents of Sense

Originally published May 4, 2019

We often make decisions because it’s going to make someone else happy e.g., your parents, your boss, your hairdresser, your doctor and on and on. Don’t get me wrong, it’s goodness to make decisions with input from others, but often it’s at the cost of our own joy and that’s where you must learn to draw a line in the sand and not acquiesce. It can be something as simple as what paint color to use or to the very extreme of not pursuing your dreams or perhaps important decisions that will affect your future or even just memories that you want to make.

How many times have you politely done something because you didn’t want to hurt the feelings of someone or were told ‘it’s the right thing to do,’ or you were straight up told to do it and you didn’t want to disrespect that person, or were manipulated, yet inside you were screaming because it’s not what you wanted, and you had nothing but an empty pit in your stomach and a very unfulfilled feeling. How many times have you lived your life around the ideals of others, too afraid to make a fuss? Guess what, your joy was stolen!

On the flip side, how many times have you insinuated your ideals on someone because you honestly believe your way is the best way, or that they are breaking some cardinal rule or used manipulation to make a person see things your way. Families do this to each other all the time (but not limited to)! I think it’s an unsaid rule that it’s a rite of passage – WRONG! It is never our right to steal someone’s joy!

When I say ‘stealing joy’ it’s not happiness I’m referring to. Happiness is an emotion, whereas joy is something that’s part of you, deep in your soul that ONLY you feel, it’s exceptional and satisfying. You know what I’m talking about; we’ve all experienced it. But for the person that wants you to do or be their way, it’s their happiness and perhaps ego they are fostering – yes happiness and ego – no joy. They feel good (and about themselves) when they convince someone to be or do what they want. Big difference between planting a seed of hope vs. doubt.

I don’t think anyone genuinely wants to steal joy, but we get caught up in what we believe and forget that there are always multiple perspectives in a conversation. We forget to listen and instead burden the person with a passion for what we believe, or our controlling ways, or with our egos and become thieves of their joy. Not Cool!!!

If you resonate with any of this STOP. Don’t let your joy be stolen and stop stealing joy. In the end we all must walk our own path and better to walk beside the person cheering them on vs. walking in front of them and taking their joy just so you can steer their path your way.

Originally Published May 5, 2019

Today I was driving back home in the pouring rain and passed a field of horses that were standing stock still. I was listening to the song by Alabama called ‘Angels Among Us.’ It’s one of my favorite songs of theirs. I stopped to take their picture and a beautiful black horse turned her head and just stared at me, like she knew exactly what I was thinking. It was a beautiful quite moment and made me want to remind people that Angels come in all forms.

Earlier that day I spent time with some friends, and unfortunately one of them just lost her grandmother unexpectedly, whom she was very close to. My friend shared that during her grandmother’s celebration of life, her grandfather got a call on his cell phone from the grandmother’s phone. My friend said, “it was so freaky.” I said, “I think it’s awesome and her way of letting you know she’s with you.” I mean who would have dialed phone?

I’ve had so many instances in my life where I know the angels helped me. If you ask them to, they always will, but sometimes I think they just intercede on our behalf because they know we need it.

I remember the day of my mother’s funeral it was a cold and rainy day. I was taking a breather outside of the funeral home by myself before we went to the church for her service and asked Mom to please show me a ray of sun so I knew she was with us. While at the church I sat in the very front pew since I did one of her readings and apparently a blinding ray of sun shown on the casket, but it was behind me so I did not see it, but after the service, everyone commented on how brilliant it was. I was so sad that I had missed it. Later that day at the burial site, I was the last one to leave the tent they had over the grave for the family; everyone was milling about and as I came out from under the tent and though it was still spitting rain and cloudy, the sun briefly broke through the clouds and shined up on me and then went away and did not come out the rest of the day. We could say coincidence, but I know that was Mom or spirit helping Mom give me what I asked for. It was such a peaceful feeling.

Angels come when they are needed for big and small things. I’m sure there’s a time or two in your life when you can cite an event that you can’t explain how the outcome came about because it was too coincidental or uncanny, e.g., a person was in the right place and right time right when you needed them, or timing was just perfect, or a mini miracle occurred for no rhyme or reason or YOU were the angel sent to help someone because YOU were in the right place at the right time.

We often say things like, “Oh my God…” or “Please don’t let that be” or “God Help Me…” or “Good Lord What do I do” when we’re in a tricky situation and we say it whether we believe in God or not and then that ‘coincidence happens’ or the ‘mini miracle’ and it all seems odd and out of nowhere, yet we often don’t see the forest for the trees (… or angels for the clouds). During those times, just send a simple ‘Thank You’ into the universe.

Just know that whether you’re purposefully praying or happenstance praying, you are heard whether you believe in spirit or not. Angels will always help us, we just simply have to ask.

Originally published in 2019

I’ve always believed in Spirit but had lots of troubles with organized religion! Keep reading this isn’t a religious rant but more about how we follow but don’t really follow.

I grew up Catholic, my parents were catholic, my grandparents were catholic, you get the picture. A long line of organized religion, nothing wrong with that, but it wasn’t the religion that made me believe, it was the ‘faith’ that my Mother had. She believed there was a God (something kinder and greater than us) and that prayer was the most powerful thing on earth, and you know what, I believed her, and in her and believe that today. However, I had lots of questions about organized religion for Mom and my religion instructors that caused lots of eye rolls. If they’d had emojis then …. I still question it, albeit quietly and to myself … like, why has the church ignored all the hurt it’s caused to so many children? Why do we need more than the 10 commandments to follow the teachings of God (since they came straight from God duh) and why aren’t there women priests? I mean, Mary Magdalen was one of Jesus’ greatest followers, his biggest fan and spread his word as much as Mathew, Mark Luke, and John, but we never really hear about her and her writings are not in any official bible. I question why a priest that was an alcoholic when my twin brothers were born, refused to bless and bury them because he said it was my father’s fault they died. WHO DOES THAT!!! Especially someone that is supposed to be speaking and representing to us, all the love of God. It was enough to turn my Father away. But not enough to make me not believe that there is a greater good.

But what about that — talking to or on behalf of Spirit – no matter the name or religion – people that say they believe in a God, sit in Church every Sunday and then ridicule those that say they can speak to spirit or get messages from Spirit! Why? They believed in Moses and Abraham and the apostles — so why wouldn’t Spirit bless anyone else? No, they must be cuckoo or off their rocker. We learn that there is life after death, for goodness sake, where do we think Easter came from! So many people celebrate Easter, but do we know why? it’s like Christmas, everyone celebrates it, but for what purpose? It’s just all an oxymoron to me.

Spirit gave the Ten Commandment tablets to Moses, and if you’re a believing Christian, you believe that all day long (but I bet you can’t name them all), so why are we scared to think that Spirit, his messengers or his angels can’t speak to us. I for one am not. I KNOW that I am spoken to through acts. I’m in the right place at the right time to help someone. I am in the right place at the right time to listen to someone. OR I’m in the right place to hit a deer as a car with two young inexperienced drivers passed me and they got a flat tire RIGHT after I hit the deer! Coincidence? I think not. It would have been disastrous, but it wasn’t. There are no coincidences and it’s not like a greater good picks up the phone and says, “hey wuzzzzzzzz up!” It’s more about getting our attention to pay attention!

Just sayin … have an open mind and an open heart. The next time you’re stuck in traffic, instead of bitching, try thinking, “geesh, maybe someone wants me to slow down.” The next time you get someone that wants to talk your ear off, maybe they just need to! Or maybe the next time you are witness to a beautiful sunrise, you say, “Well hellllllloooo Spirit, thanks for saying good morning!

Open mind means open hearts! There’s a reason Dog spells God backwards … it’s a wonderful sense of humor with something we love here on earth!

Peace out!

Originally published in 2019

Throughout my lifetime, most of which has been in a married state, I’ve always known that things would be OK no matter the circumstances. I don’t know why I knew or know this; except I call it having faith. Faith to me is the absence of fear and believing that something greater is at work in the universe working on my behalf if I just believe, so I do, and things always work out. Like the time, we owed annual taxes to the tune of 3k and due to other expenses, we literally did not have the money, but then out of nowhere, before tax deadline, boom it manifested in the form of a gift. Or when our dog, Hunter was diagnosed with cancer and he was only 3. Like a child, you don’t just discard them because they are sick. But Chemo in a pet is just as pricey as a human, but I had faith that it would work itself out, and it did. We did lose Hunter after a hard-fought battle, but he was worth every hard fought penny earned to pay for his chemo.

It is my belief that when things don’t work out, it’s because we don’t believe in ourselves or believe that we ‘deserve’ what we’ve set our mind to and that message is what is sent into the universe instead of what we really want. Oh, I’m guilty of not taking leaps of faith too, trust me on that, but whenever, it’s come to anything that has been the most important in my life I took the leap and every single time things worked out.

My trick is to picture what I want and I make it happen. It doesn’t always happen in the exact way I imagine, or on my timeline, but some form always does and, in the end, always better than I’d imagined. Little tidbit — We don’t always know what’s best for us, (WHAT!!!! how can that be!) but universal karma does. If we become arrogant and unwilling to bend to where life wants to take us, then you will likely miss out on so many things that you imagine for yourself and all because you didn’t believe that they’d happen the way they were supposed to and in the time they were supposed to.

I lost my job in May of 2018, it was completely unexpected. A job I had previously loved – it all changed within a few months when a few new folks in management came on board that were self-serving and self-centered. I cared about the greater customer, they cared about who they could tear down, or make fun of or bitch about. In the end I came to resent them and I’m sure they didn’t like me either. The saddest part about that tale, is that there’s very few people I can say that I truly ‘dislike.’ The nonsense took it’s toll and I think in the end I manifested the job going away (yep, I sure did).

In the end, everything is a journey, and I knew I’d find another job. Everything has a lesson in it, mine I think was tolerance (I’m still working on that), but it did solidify to me who I won’t be, or who I won’t work for and that my principles matter.

I did find another job, it too has its challenges but if we never face a challenge and take that leap of faith that it will be OK, we’ll never move forward. Don’t get me wrong, faith falters, but it’s up to me to eliminate the fear and believe in myself. Not an easy task I know, but one worth pursuing.

Originally published April 13, 2019

Gosh is anyone else tired of all the meanness going on in our great USA right now? I sure am. I understand that we all have opinions, we all have things that make us crazy but in my 1/2 century on this earth I’ve never seen such bat-$h!t crazy behavior.

My Mom always reminded her eight children that ‘hate’ was a strong word and should never be used lightly. She was referring to when someone says it about another human being and not when you say, “I hate cooked carrots” (which I do by the way). Mom worked as a teacher’s assistant for over 20 years and she worked with special needs children. She saw how they were pigeon holed and judged because they couldn’t read as fast or didn’t look or dress the same as the other kids. My Mother’s mission was to make these children understand that they weren’t worth any less than the smartest or most popular kid in the school and they had just as much opportunity as the next kid, but they’d have to work a little harder for it. She tried to help them understand being in the in-crowd wasn’t all that! But kids are trying to find their place in the world, so to them it is, all that!

Adults are no better than children most of the time. We judge, jury and sentence people in our minds every single day and not because we are armed with good information, but because we follow the crowd, just as we did in school if it aligns with the narrative we want to hear.

For instance, there is this terrible hate for our current president and I don’t get it …and I mean this sincerely – I really don’t get it. (keep reading this is not about politics)… The hate is palpable, from the simple person on the street to the news anchors that report on him and for the life of me I sincerely don’t know what the man has done to those individuals to earn such hatred except be elected. I mean, had he been in office for a year and people had an opinion of that nature I might think, “Ok, they just don’t’ like his leadership;” but he has been literally hated from the time he was on his campaign trail. I mean, yes, he can be annoying, but I find it hard to believe that all that hate manifested simply because the possibility of the first woman president was crushed; that seems a far-fetched reason for this much hate. Then I think, ‘well maybe it’s just because a non-politician was elected president.” Which leads me to think how proud I am of a country that has a democratic process where that can happen – regardless of my political affiliation. I believe in our bill of rights and constitution and the wonderful fore fathers that were so brilliant as to author such documents. Just as I love our God that came up with the oh-so sensible Ten Commandments. I mean really, how much more common sense can you get then those.

I worry about this kind of hate especially when it hit so close to home. Last year, we were verbally attacked while just being tourists in Wash D.C. simply for wearing a red hat. It was the day of the women’s march, for which we had no idea was going on. We were literally approached and spewed by hate filled rhetoric from a woman who decided that my husband’s red hat represented all things that were wrong with men and the USA at large and decided to hate on him. In the end her husband had to get a grip on her and literally drag her away – all the while she was screaming that we were fascists and WHY did we like ‘him’! This woman literally knew nothing about us, didn’t have a clue what our political affiliations were, but still boiled her thoughts down to a conclusion that caused her to spew hate the likes of which I’d prefer not to be part of ever again……and this is what I see and hear every day now. Conclusions being drawn, hate being spewed and in the end for no good reason AND it’s perfectly acceptable behavior by so many. I just don’t get it! (I know I keep saying that…).

It’s my two ‘sense’ that we’ve lost simple respect in this country and it’s going to be a hard-fought battle to get it back. The by-product of that loss has been hating imho. Taking away free speech isn’t the answer, but maybe thinking before we speak is – as my mother said, hate is a strong word and something we should think on before coming to it as a conclusion because you can’t take back hurtful words or actions for that matter.

Originally published July 4, 2019

Independence day – the day ‘the thirteen colonies’ declared their independence from the British Monarchy – well technically it was July 2, but not officially approved by Congress until July 4th (just sayin…). What were we declaring our independence from? Just a few little things called, tyranny, oppression and taxes. Colonists believed that with independence would come the ability to make a better life to include owning their own land and the ability to make more money – it was the beginning of the American Dream!

I try to fathom what our ancestors faced over centuries to pave the road to how I get to live today and I worry that we’ve lost sight of the sacrifices that allows us to say what we want, be who we want, work where we want, live where we want, buy what we want and all with laws the protect and sustain us. I am in awe of our founding fathers and their collective foresight that gave us documents that have sustained us for over two centuries – our declaration of independence, our bill of rights and the constitution! Their foresight to see that equality was important in all things to include balance of power – was AMAZING! Did we (and do we) have to continue to improve, to right wrongs (slavery, women’s rights, discrimination) YES!!! But we were given such a gift as the groundwork to have that happen. So why do we take our “inalienable rights” granted and when do we stop punishing the present generations for sins of the past and just move forward?

I worry about people that want to knock down the testaments and symbols of the hard fought battles e.g., the flag. I worry about the people that would keep words like ‘discrimination’ in our vocabulary. I worry that we are becoming a very selfish society, that believes they are privileged so prey on putting focus on the few vs. the many, causing chaos. Yes the flag is just a flag, but if you believe in America it’s so much more, it’s a symbol and the most recognized symbol of freedom in the world. Who else can say that? It’s recognized because of what it stands for and the story it tells. The flag flies free because of what others have fought in order to preserve our way of life. Those battles have been fought by all race, creed and religions that came to our USA and called themselves “American.” I worry that people have forgotten that and when they do, they are spitting in the face of their fellow Americans. There’s a reason the flag is carried into battle, put on our planes, our ships, on our uniforms and flown outside of businesses, schools and government facilities. There’s a reason we pledge our allegiance to it. It’s a reminder and symbol of what we’ve fought for and what we continue to fight for. It’s symbolism gives us hope and strength to keep up the good fight and do the right thing. Symbols are meant to be seen and understood. I worry that we are beginning to purposely lose that understanding in lieu of the selfishness of the few.

The right thing isn’t always immediate nor tangible, but right does prevail and Independence Day represents that and stands as a reminder of what our ancestors fought so hard to move themselves far away from e.g., tyranny, socialism an oppression. We have to celebrate the victories, learn from the past and continue to move forward, which is done by not losing sight of the symbols that represent the very core of what this country stands – FREEDOM!

Originally published June 9, 2019

Losing anyone in our life is hard to include animals. They especially have short lives and though we wish they could stay with us longer, it’s just not what God intended. Though if you believe that we choose how we’ll come to and leave this earth via free will, then you also believe that we reincarnate our souls through several lifetimes. Now I know that some people will STOP reading right here and say, “ok Nancy you’ve completely lost your mind…” but the reality is, I haven’t. I just choose to believe that God’s plan for us was more than one lifetime in order to learn and grow spiritually – after all, God rose again, so why not us? Just think about it and perhaps the story I share below will convince you.

I had never grown up with animals, not because my parents didn’t like them but because we lived in town with a tiny little yard and it just wasn’t fair to an animal. I got married at 19 and two months later, hubby brought me home this little black butterball, who we named Shadow because he did not leave our side. It was my first experience with a pet. Of course we were both young and stupid, had no idea how to really train or expect a puppy to behave, so poor Shadow had to suffer through our inexperience. He grew to be the BEST dog ever. We were military, so he went through several moves, lots of getting to know new boundaries, riding in the back of the truck, going on boat rides and loving to play fetch. We were lucky enough to have Shadow for 15 years and when we had to say goodbye it was the hardest thing we’d ever had to do. We came home to an empty house, no doggie greeting us with a toy. It was very lonely.

We lasted 6 months before we just couldn’t stand it anymore. We had decided to never raise a dog alone again. We found a private family in Pennsylvania that had lab puppies. Our intent was to get a black lab and then another one a few months later, however, when we went to get one that wasn’t to be the case. We spent over 2 hours with the family and there were two doggies that played together the whole day. They were bonded and we really liked the black lab and did not have the heart to split them apart so we brought home two that day, a black lab (Galen) and a chocolate lab (Hunter).

We were more seasoned now and knew how to raise them right. They were tons of work but also kept each other occupied and grew up to be great dogs. At 3, Hunter was diagnosed with Lymphoma; unheard of in younger dogs. He was healthy in every other way. Because he was so young we opted to do chemo and see if we could beat it. Chemo in dogs is the same protocols in humans and requires lots and lots of visits to doctors. Hunter was a trooper and went into remission, we were ecstatic. The doctors told us if he could maintain remission for 1 year, then he’d likely beat it. At 10 months the cancer returned, more aggressive than before and again we tried to fight it, but this time Hunter succumbed at only 5 years old.

While going through the second round of Chemo, our local vet was able to administer it, so Hunter spent lots of time there, he became their mascot of sorts. One day a family noticed his picture on my vets board and asked about him. They had a chocolate as well and found him to be very handsome. The vet explained he had cancer and was not going to make it. This family offered to the vet that when their dog had her puppies to tell us we could have one free of charge (Who does that .. it was so kind)! Our vet told us of the family’s generous offer, but we couldn’t even imagine getting a puppy so soon.

Hunter only stayed with us for a few weeks after that. The day we knew we had to take him, I was outside pulling weeds of all things because I just needed a few more minutes with my beautiful boy. I talked to him and told him, “Hunter, you COME BACK TO ME!” Eventually, we had to take him in to the vets office. While waiting for the vet, every vet tech and vet came into be with Hunter, the room was packed and Hunter came to the middle of us all and laid down, telling us it was time. I once again whispered in his ear, “Hunter, you COME BACK TO ME,” he gently licked me (he was a big kisser) and he gently slid away from us. We grieved as did his brother left behind.

A few weeks later, we decided to meet the family with the puppies that had been offered up to us. We felt so empty and knew it would be good for Galen. We met the family and found out that their litter was born the day Hunter died – there are NO coincidences. I knew in that instance that we were meant to have one of those puppies because Hunter had found a way back to us. We chose a puppy, brought him home and named him Cody. He was a blessing. He bonded with Galen as though Galen hadn’t lost a brother at all. Eight years later, Cody was diagnosed with an auto immune disease that comes on a dog quickly and takes them just as fast. We were devastated and numb. Thirteen years of life between Hunter and Cody – we had the equivalent of one dog’s life and were grateful for it.

Galen was alone AGAIN. We decided we’d rescue a dog through a local lab rescue. We researched and looked, but no dog popped out at us. We finally decided to go see this black lab named Junior that was 6 years old, but looked much older due to his all gray face. The foster Mom told us on the phone, when you meet him you’ll take him. Me being Miss Skeptical said, “Welllllllll we’ll see!” Yep we met him and he was ours. The most amazing part is how much he resembles our first lab Shadow, how much his personality is like Shadow’s and there is a little part of me that thinks Shadow came back to us for a little while.

Our souls are connected whether human or animal. I might be off my rocker, but I do absolutely believe if we ask, we get second chances with those we loved so much!

Originally published April 19, 2019

So I’ve been sick all week, I mean down for the count with the flu and feeling like a rag doll that’s been flung around on the back of a kid’s wagon for days! I wanted nothing better then to feel better fast and of course there’s always a little pity party when we don’t feel better faster! I have literally been housebound for 6 days with the exception of a doctor’s visit and today was the first day I felt like I had taken a good turn. I was out of some meds, so decided to take myself down to the local Walgreens and get some fresh air. Funny thing though, there is a Rite Aide right next to Walgreens and I never go in there, but thought, “hmmm let me go there.” Apparently Walgreen bought out Rite Aide and so they will be closing and thus there was a ton of stuff 50% off. Even in my so-so state, I can’t pass up a good deal, so I mucked around for a little while checking things out. It was pouring buckets out anyway, so I figured I’d let the rain subside.

While in line to checkout about 30 mins later I hear a gentleman that works there say to his coworker, “I need to go home on my lunch break and help my wife, but man I can’t go in this weather.” As his colleague is checking me out I can see the panic on this face. so I say, “Where do you live, I could give you a ride.” I know, I know … I DON’T know this guy from Adam, but he legit seemed to need to get home to his wife. He at first declined, but then said, “would you mind, my wife is sick and I really need to check on her.” Well in my mind I’m thinking, “she probably has what I got poor woman.” I NEVER offer strangers rides, but something compelled me, so I did. I trusted that whatever was pushing me to help was for a good reason.

So when he got in the car he couldn’t thank me enough. I introduced myself and he told me his name was Johnny! He said, he’d had a bad week, he’d lost his other job, then got in an accident and his car was totaled and his wife has MS and she’s been having a very rough time of it and had had a MRI the day before, the nurses had left her in the dressing room alone, and she fell and hurt her hip and now she was nervous being alone and he really needed to check on her. I asked why he lost his other job. He said, “Well my wife’s MS has been in a flare state and unfortunately I’d exhausted all my avenues for time off to care for her so my company said they couldn’t hold my job anymore.” He was very matter of fact about it, said he understood their position etc., but his priority is his wife.

See what I mean, I thought I had a bad week, my week was NOTHING compared to this man’s week (or year for that matter). We chatted on the way to his home, I waited while he checked on her and then took him back to work. I guess he just needed to chat because I learned in a very short amount of time that nothing else matters to him except that his wife get on the road to recovery. He has three kids, two of them don’t deal well with their mother’s illness and his other one is great. He has a 90 year old father that is his inspiration and he has a network of support from his other family members and of course he has his faith. He told me that for his wife it’s the little things that we all take for granted that are her biggest challenges, and that helps keep it in perspective for him and he gave me an example…

She was in therapy and laying on the floor. The therapist asked her to raise her hips without using her arms or hands. She couldn’t do it (this was a couple months ago). Apparently the other day, she was able to do it and he baked her a cake to celebrate!

He teared up several times in our conversation, but never once wavered from what was important. Not one time did he take a selfish pity moment for himself, nor did he think that things wouldn’t eventually work out. He understands his wife’s feelings of despair when she is immobile, so those kind of milestones are big wins!

People that I meet in these types of circumstance always inspire me to be better, to work harder, to never take today for granted. Even though I slip into my own little world and live in my bubble, these gentle reminders help me know that someone always has it worse and they usually handle it with grace.

I’m sharing because the next time we all have a bad day, maybe it’s actually not so bad.

August 11, 2019 2 Minutes

We took a quick trip this weekend to Connecticut to pick up some things that were my husband’s Dad and Step Mother’s. Unfortunately Dad has passed, but it’s always so nice to reconnect with family. We get caught up in the minutia of the day-to-day and can forget to stop and just breathe! We often say, “we’ll catch up soon, or we’ll keep in touch” and before we know it so much time has gone by and we’ve done neither. The trip was quick but conversation while there was and always is full of looking ahead but never forgetting the goodness of the past.

People who know me often hear me say, “don’t take your family, parents or loved ones overall for granted, we only get one go round (at least with these spirits) once in this lifetime.” Unfortunately, as we all do, we get caught up in a ‘now’ moment whether good or bad and let that determine our behavior toward our family members and often we lose out on precious time and memories – or we think they’ll always be there and available and then one day they just aren’t! This causes regret and more sadness oftentimes. I know it has with me, especially with my own parents, siblings and others that have come in and out of my life.

Having a relationship with someone is a choice, not an obligation even when they are are ‘family’! There are no rules that govern how we should go about reconnecting, establishing or keeping relationships; but renewal is (in my opinion) the universe’s way of giving us or reinvigorating a relationship that we need at that particular time in our life!

For me personally, I only wish for people to be in my life that want to be in my life and it dawned on me that part of my lesson to learn (even when it hurts like hell) is that not everyone we imagine will remain in our life the way we thought they would, even those that have been by our side our whole lives. We evolve and in that evolution we sometimes have to let go, the hard part is being ok with it!

So the morale to my little story is to enjoy relationships that bring you joy and cherish them because one day they may just flutter gently away and you will be lost, so live, love and laugh as much as possible so you can look back and still cherish the time you had. At the same time, allow yourself to enjoy reconnecting with others or even new relationships because as we all know tomorrow is never promised.

With much love always…

September 6, 2019

On September 7th, I will have been married 34 years and that is just mind blowing. It never feels like as much time has gone by that has and every year I say that to my husband. We met in Texas on an Air Force Base. He was active duty and had just come back from Germany, it was April of 1985. I was staying with my sister. I met him quite by accident – he and several other Air Force active duty. He teases me that I went on dates with his friends before I went on a date with him, but the truth was, he was shy and hadn’t asked (I only went on two dates and I didn’t have much fun). I wasn’t quite sure about him, but fate is amazing and when she steps in, well if you listen you make the right decisions.

One night ‘one of those friends’ had asked me to be his date. We were all going to meet at a local dance club, that one of the guys was a DJ at. My date proceeded to get so drunk he couldn’t walk and I was someplace that I could do one of my favorite things — DANCE!! This is the night I KNEW my hubby was for me. I sat there wanting to dance and finally said to the table of boys at large — “I want to dance, who will dance with me…” Hubby spoke up and said, “I like to dance … ” and we danced until 2:00 AM, barely coming off the dance floor. Our conversation that night was limited, but dancing all night said it all! It is one of my sweetest ‘date’ memories; needless to say, going dancing that summer became our favorite pastime. In July, he asked me to marry him and I accepted. His friends all thought he was nuts for diving in like that, but I knew and he knew, we were meant for each other.

Don’t get me wrong, we hardly knew each other and we had get-to-know-you pains (literally growing up) and life lessons, but it’s been worth every step. When someone asks me ‘our secret’ I tell them, “hard work”. Sure love, communication, trust, give-and-take, respect etc., are all very important too, but if you don’t work at marriage, then it won’t work for you – words to live by!

Marriage is like a roller coaster, you work hard, climb the big hills, come down the other side and feel all the emotions of fear and excitement, only to be faced with a sharp curve and another climb. It’s about doing it together, being best friends, cheering each other on, making choices together, making decisions together and respecting each other’s differences.

When you’re young and married you don’t even fathom 34 years, it seems so distant, but when you break it down and really think about the vows you take, it does boil down to two words, “I Do…” when we cite those words in our wedding vows and take those vows seriously, it translates to ‘us’ not ‘I’ not ‘You’!

Make no mistake, marriage is work but the secret in the words “I Do” is translating that to an approach of “we can do anything together…!”